Death is on Our Hands
by WordsinRain
Summary: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS Spoilers for Captain America: Civil War. SPOILERS Natasha and Wanda have a chat.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Spoilers for Captain America: Civil War. SPOILERS

Ok so I watched Captrain America: Civi War and I did enjoy it, but of course it didn't pass the Bechdel Test. A lot of people argue the exchange between Wanda and Natasha at the start counts, but to me it doesn't because the conversation included men. So, Marvel, take note, this is how you pass the Bechdel test.

Also I think these two would be awesome as friends and I ship their bromance so hard.

* * *

Natasha had killed. Everyone knew that about her, she didn't hide it anymore. She'd been raised as a mindless assassin and she'd been exactly that for as long as she could remember. Loki had said her ledger was dripping, and he wasn't wrong. But she wasn't that assassin anymore, and yet the memories of that time replayed in her mind every single time she shut her eyes. She knew the men who had brainwashed and trained her into being one of the deadliest women in the world were ultimately responsible, but she was the one who had pulled the trigger. She knew the stain of death on someone's heart, more than she knew anything else.

She watched Wanda, unnoticed, as she stared at the news. It replayed the explosion of the building over and over again. It didn't seem to matter to the news reporter that if the explosion hadn't moved it would've taken out not only Steve, but the civilians on the street. Eleven people had died in the building, she counted twenty more deaths had Wanda done nothing.

Wanda worried at her lip, but other than that her face was emotionless. She just observed the news with a stillness that most likely didn't reflect the feelings beneath. The room didn't suit Wanda, or at least Natasha didn't think it suited her, but she hadn't talked that much with her before to comment on it.

'Wanda,' Natasha said, finally announcing her presence and stepping into the room. She sat on the bed next to the other woman. Wanda didn't move, she remained cross-legged staring at the screen. Natasha turned off the TV.

'How much do you know about me?'

Wanda turned to her, 'What do you mean?'

'About my history, who I was before I was an Avenger,' she said.

Wanda just shrugged and started picking at a bit of black nail varnish.

'I was born in the Russia,' Natasha said.

'That is obvious, though you don't have much of accent, not like me.'

'That's because I was trained as a sleeper agent, the Black Widow project, and part of being a sleeper agent is being able to pass for a normal USA citizen when you're not one.'

Wanda turned her whole body so she was facing Natasha.

'Anyway, for many years I was an assassin, and not one for the good guys. The number of people whose deaths

I'm responsible for is in triple figures. Even after I got out of there and became an agent of shield, I was mostly a freelance agent they could use to do unpleasant things. It took a very long to get me to here. To a point where I can even say these words to you.'

'Why are you?'

'Because I know what it feels like to have death on your hands, I know when everyone else says it's not your fault, that you were conditioned, that it was an accident, it doesn't remove that stain. It won't change how you feel inside.'

'I can still hear their screams,' Wanda said looking back down at her nails. 'I can feel the heat of the explosion on my skin.'

'When you zapped my brain, I was back in the red room, that's what they called it, but it wasn't any more vivid than what my own mind does to me.'

'I hated Stark for years for the hand he had in my parents death, for being trapped staring at that unexploded shell. And now all those families have reason to despise me the same way.'

Natasha reached out and placed a hand on Wanda's. 'And they will. Nothing you do now will change that. You will never forget what happened here, but you will learn to live with the guilt. It's a lot like grief in that way.'

'I'm glad my brother didn't have to see this,' Wanda said eventually.

'I don't think you are. You know he wouldn't have blamed you.'

'I miss him so much sometimes I can't breathe.'

Natasha squeezed Wanda's hand.

'There are good things about what has happened to us.' Natasha got off the bed and raised herself onto toes and did a pirouette followed by an arabesque. She brought her arms down slowly to her side. Wanda's eyes were wide.

'In order to hide what they were actually doing they fronted by teaching us ballet. Occasionally, if the guilt is too much, and the lives I've saved since just feels like more violence, I remember there is beauty and creativity in me as well. That violence isn't everything I am.'

Wanda sighed, 'I don't have anything like that.'

'Maybe, I could help you try and find it.'

'Okay, but definitely not ballet.'


End file.
